Does the title, “Improve Your Marriage with Ayurveda,” catch your attention? Or are you scratching your head, thinking “Say what, isn’t Ayurveda a health care system? When did it also become an expert on marriage?”
According to Ayurveda our communication patterns are a reflection of our physiological balance. Of course this is true and we intuitively know it to be so. Haven’t you been crabby with your spouse when you are tired or not feeling well? Of course you have.
Physiological imbalances bring on crabbiness. How we feel internally affects how we think and how we respond. Positive relationships are integral to our health. But what came first, the love or the mind-body balance?
According to Ayurveda our communication patterns are a reflection of our elemental (doshic) balance or imbalance. Since negativity or positivity in relationships affect our elemental balance both can be worked on at the same time. In other words, physiological balance will assist positive marital communication and our style of marital communication will affect the balance of our mind-body.
How about an example? Both men and women make errors in marital communication. However, the harsh start up is an error that is more typical of females than of males. It can serve as a clear example of how couples affect each other.
Harsh start up is exactly what it sounds like. A person feels upset about something or other and goes to her partner with this emotional/psychological upset and speaks harshly. This is an unproductive communication. When a woman approaches a man in this manner his fight or flight instinct is triggered and he, most often, flees. He flees through distance and being non-communicative.
John Gottman is a sociologist who studies marital dynamics. Gottman takes blood samples of his subjects before, sometimes during, and after interactions. He has stated that when a man is approached with a harsh start up his stress hormones become activated and his heart pumps faster and he protects his health by withdrawal.
His withdrawal is as unhelpful as her harsh start up. The two feed on each other. Withdrawal is the last thing a person needs when she is feeling angry and upset. The withdrawal and the harsh start up trigger each other. The stress level rises, the conflict is unresolved and physiological health is adversely affected. Of course, this is but one example of how significant others can affect each other. The point is that the tone and tenor of relationships affect our energetic balance (our health) and vice versa.
Ayurveda can help us to avoid destructive communication patterns? If our energy is balanced we respond to negativity in ways that work well-calmly and clearly.
If our communication patterns are positive and clear our overall balance is enhanced.
Ayurveda gives an instruction manual offering techniques to remove everyday stress from our mind-body. If we follow the manual imbalances do not build up, we feel good, and we have a better chance of maintaining equanimity in relationships.
So, yes, Ayurveda can become a marriage counselor as well as a health advisor. The mind-body is one seamless energetic system and everything that affects one aspect of this system affects the totality.
Love and positive relationships are important to our health. Health is important to the expression of love and the enhancement of positive relationships. The two are interchangeable and Ayurveda helps with both!.